island analogy

island analogy

island analogy

negative-local-maximum-island-analogy I’m on a small stinky island with limited resources only enough to stay alive. As far as my eyes can see there is just ocean. I have mainly 3 options:

  1. to end my life and refuse it
  2. to struggle to survive and stay alive in this shitty island
  3. to start swimming with maximum power to reach maybe a bigger island to be able to live

Let’s make it even more dramatic and add the concept of urgency and limited time window: There are lots of sharks in this ocean and for some fucking reason I have a very limited time right now to choose to stay or dive, otherwise I’ll be stuck forever or for a fucking long time.

The island is a local maximum but it’s still is under zero bar of LF. So the risk I can take is to leave this local maximum and make it even more negative for the possibility of a positive LF. Higher fight, pain and LF falldown means more risk and also sooner results.

If I’m gonna lose some to get another if can be in different degrees:

  • rest 1 day per week
  • rest 1 or 2 hours per day
  • half rest half work
  • … But I think I’m gonna go for 0 rest. I have 0 interest to be only alive and since where I am right now is only being alive let’s fuck it. I’m pay 100% and become nothing to get everything. this gamble either falls and I die in the most negative and absolute minimum point of LF or it wins and get sth positive.

The problem is that I have some positive LF moments but all of them altoghether are near zero. Even in the best case when I am totally free I’m mostly experiencing zero level LF. So basiacally my life is divided to moments with pain, depression, sadness, anger, fight, … which are negative LF (70% of my life), moments with no feeling and emptiness which are in the best case zero LF (25% of my life) and moments with pleasure, joy and happiness which are positive LF (at most 5% of my life)

So if I’m gonna put it in the island anology it’s like I have 2 options:

  1. to die
  2. to fight and endure pain for some better island that might not exist at all, if exists is far far away, and even if I reach it might turn out to be another unwanted useless property for me

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